It’s the Great Punk’n!

Virginia Beach – Halloween is one of those holidays that brings out the kid in all of us.  Hayrides, bonfires, bag snatching...you know, all the fun stuff.  But what would a traditional Halloween be without a little inebriated pumpkin carving?

Thus, we find ourselves at the Seaside Raw Bar in Virginia Beach.  Musical entertainment was provided by Tom Ass of David Hasselhoff's Haircut fame, Trevor Ed of the Degroat clan, and, of course, our own resident ska-lar Eazy-D.  As a compliment to their diverse musical stylings, there was also art for sale from the multi-talented minds of Tom Ass and Eazy-D.

Judges for the contest included Billy Joiner from the Nightmare Mansion and Hunt Club Farm's Haunted Hayride.  From Seaside, we had the ever lovely, ever courteous Devon the waitress, and, of course, from Magazine33, the Wolfe!  Oh yeah, and Eazy-D, too.

The rules of the contest?  No stencils, bring your own utensils, an hour and a half to do it, and you get to clean prep ahead of time.  Pretty simple, pretty straightforward.  No surprises.

Eazy-D started off the musical portion of the night with a little ditty known as "Night of the Living Dead" (available for download on iTunes!).

Now on to our contestants.  First we have Dena, bartender extraordinaire for the Seaside exhibiting the tried and true “stabby-stabby” technique popularized by such greats as Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees.  Tom Ass, our next contestant, has taken a more artistic approach, using a black Sharpie and an unwavering steady hand.  Elaine Main has decided to take it to the limit and is actually using a drill to carve her pumpkin.  Skamanda has taken the DIY ethic to heart and is using an electric knife to carefully whittle away the orange casing into an eye-pleasing design.  Tyler is carefully sculpting his for that subtle, backlit effect.  Jessica “Jules” Sapiro and Jeremy, though originally having been a little disappointed that they could not use stencils, have bounced back and are using the Tom Ass Sharpie technique (with their stencils as references). 

Dena's creation was the Team Pumpkin, a tribute to the specialized family that makes up the Seaside in staff and regulars.  Next we had Jeremy's "Tree."  Elaine contributed a tribute to the great Marvin the Cat, Eazy-D's muse.  Skamanda brought out her horror inspiring "Skull," and Tyler gave us the "Creepy Carved Face."  The culmination of Jessica's efforts took the form of a pirate skull, and last but not least, Tom Ass made it seem deceptively all too easy with “The Tree” - very Treehouse of Horror. 

Entries were judged in four categories: Creativity, Cleanliness, Technique and Originality.

The prizes?  Hunt Club's Haunted Hayride passes, "My Girlfriend/Boyfriend is a Zombie" shirts from the Nightmare Mansion, two $15 tickets to any local show from Magazine33, and a $25 bar tab at Seaside!

The musical portion of the evening continued with Tom Ass's always welcome acousta-punk freestyle and covers from the Clash to the Bloodhound Gang, along with original bits from his many musical projects.  He was also joined by local spoken word artist Anubis for some higher-level shit dropped into the expectant crowd's aural canals.  Tonight also saw the debut of Trevor Ed, with an army of originals and some choice covers, including a stellar rendition of Radiohead. 

After a lengthy deliberation the judges came to their decision.

And without further ado, it was up to me, the Wolfe, to take the stage and announce the winners.  In third place came Tyler with the uber-creepy carved face.  Second was taken away by Tom Ass' "Tree of Horrors."  In the end, however, there can be only one winner, and that honor went to Magazine33's own intrepid reporter Elaine Main, with the awesome rendition of the late Marvin the cat.

All and all a great night.  The smell of burning pumpkins is getting to me, though.  Now let's go drop one of these things off the top of the Marriott.

By Director, Genre Lead, and Editor: Andrew Wolfe

The Wolfe was born to a small litter in the mountains of West Virginia and transplanted to suburban Virginia Beach in the iconic year of 1984.  Left to the public school system, he soon became immersed in the varied subcultures of suburbia. Quickly he became a connoisseur of the rich substrata of disaffected youth in post-Reagan America.  Having to leave corporate tool-hood behind, the Wolfe prowls the silent alleyways in search of the next great spark of local music - the incendiary device that will reignite creativity in a music world gone wrong (apparently in the throes of Bieber Fever).

And other fun facts ...

Age: 33
Place of Birth: Parkersburg, West Virginia
Gender: Raoul Duke
Religion: Gonzo
Likes: Good music.  Drinking.  Smoking.
Dislikes: Ignorance.  People who take themselves too seriously.  People who say "I just wanted to touch bases with you."  It's "base" asshole, not a baseball reference.